The Memo That Republican Budgetwriters Won't Ever Write

To: Republican Legislators
From: Senate Republican Leader Dick Ackerman and Assembly Republican Leader Mike Villines
Re: The Budget
 
Well, we've done it. We managed to hold the budget up and put the squeeze on the Governor and Democrats. We're still pinching ourselves that we've been able to win so many concessions!
 
Here's what we got:

• No new taxes (that should keep The Flash Report happy and gives us something in common with Governor for a change);
• No new social programs (even Tom McClintock can't criticize you for a budget that doesn't create a single new government bureaucracy);
• A reserve equal to the Governor's updated proposed reserve (so you can beat your chest about being frugal);
• $2.5 billion in Economic Recovery Bond repayments, including $1 billion above the minimum required payment (making Wall St. very, very happy);
• Full funding of the current K-12 Equalization deal (inoculation from Democratic attacks that we've cut school funding);
• Rejected the Governor's proposed elimination of the Williamson Act (good news for the ag community); and
• More than $500 million for local law enforcement programs, none of which are state programs (helping us retain the "tough on crime" label and guaranteeing press events with local police).

Sure, we let the Democrats retain funding for the elderly, disabled, and the children in the state's poorest families. But after denying foster kids transitional housing funds a couple weeks ago, we're feeling wild and crazy enough to give at least a few of the state's most vulnerable citizens a few crumbles of the richest state in the nation's resources. 

So go ahead and confirm those reservations for your five-star hotels and luxury cruises next week. We look forward to your support for our "lean and mean" budget compromise.
 

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